Yew Times 9
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: Yew Times #9
Author: Yew Town Council
CURRENT NEWS
YEW PULLS SELF UP
BY BOOTSTRAPS DURING
HARD TIMES
Without a heir to the
throne and a lack of
sales, many towns such
as Britian, Haven, and
Magincia are finding their
citizens without jobs.
People are just not
purchasing as much as
they once had, and what
little gold that has been
collected, has been
allocated into maintenance
of buildings rather than
salaries when sales are
lagging. Many owners
endured as long as they
possibly could, but were
forced to dismiss workers
and work those menial
jobs themselves. When we
ask how a little town of
Yew had managed to keep
everyone employed, we
received a simple answer,
"Distilleries". A monk
informed us that the
distillation process was a
long guarded secret and
for many years was
producing the coveted
liqours generating extra
profit for the lands. At
the Ye Olde Winery both
wine and liquor was
produced, with wine sales
being greater in volume.
When times started to
get hard and purchases
of the pricier liquors
began to decline, the
monks decided to market
the designs for the
distillation process to the
tinkers for a tidy sum
of gold which in turn was
placed back into the Yew
economy. As Brother
Alexander stated, "We
support all who live in
the lands of Yew. We
need our farmers to tend
our grapes as well as for
the food on our daily
table. We need our
fletchers for their bows
to hunt game as well as
to provide safety from
the orcs and undead. We
have our furtraders to
help us keep warm during
cold weather, and our
bakers to fill our bellies.
Gold from the crown
coffers supports the
Court of Truth, but the
Empath Abbey is
maintained by our wine
sales. The invention of
the distillery was passed
down many years ago by
a Brother Ansalm's
grandfather who is with
us no longer, but his
grandson is one of the
key distributors of the
wine to the towns who
order it. We hear that
the elves from Heartwood
are similarly affected and
have have taken advantage
of the situation by
marketing the design for
the raised garden beds
prominently displayed
throughout Heartwood. We
been assisting the other
towns as best as we can,
but we do not know how
long our funds will hold
out. What we do know is
that we need some order
to return to the lands
to reduce some of the
burden.
WOMAN WAGES WAR
AGAINST DISTILLERIES
"These distilleries are a
blight on our land, and I
will drive them out!",
roared Antonia Crier to
an assembly of her
followers at the Britain
town hall. The crowd
exhorted her with cries
of "Smash the
distilleries!" and "End the
madness!" Crier continued,
"Since the free
distribution of these
devices into the hands of
the public, we have seen
no less than a
free-for-all continuous
binge at the cost of
civic sensibility and
decorum. There seems to
be no shame anymore, as
seemingly respectable
persons cavort about
vomiting in the streets in
various states of undress,
with nary a care about
the example that they
are setting. Give one of
the many unemployed a
coin, and he will spend it
on one of these newly
fermented spirits rather
than his own shelter or
sustenance. Have we so
quickly forgotten the
incident of the two young
men whose fishing trip
turned to murder because
of demon spirits, or of
the barfly who gave birth
to a pickled baby,
delivered by a score of
drunken patrons? The
time for talk is over.
This poison has polluted
the minds of the populace
and no manner of
persuasive argument will
turn them away from
their addiction! It is time
for direct action! It is
time we shut down these
murder mills!"
FINAL POLLY HARPER
BOOK GETS POOR
RECEPTION
HB Krenshaw released the
seventh and final ending
to his Polly Harper series
to an audience of
horrified and outraged
fans following his own life
threatening ordeal.
Krenshaw was delivering a
final copy of the
manuscript to his
publisher, when he was
waylaid by bandits and
left for dead. A would-be
benefactor would later
discover him and carry
him to her isolated cabin,
nursing him to health
over the following weeks.
But the goodwill did not
last as the writer
claimed that his
benefactor had a complete
change of heart when she
had read the manuscript;
particularly the horrible
deaths of Polly and her
companions. Krenshaw
tried to explain to the
nurse that he had
written himself into a
corner in the previous
book by transporting his
knights-in-training
characters into the midst
of an army of the
undead. He stated that if
he had written his
characters as magic
users, they might have
been able to escape by
some clever magical
means. However, Polly and
her friends were nothing
more than a bunch of
pages with no formal
combat training who had
gotten in way over their
heads, and he had no
recourse but to give
them an honorable, if not
violent death. Krenshaw
claimed that the nurse
would have none of it and
determined that he would
rewrite the ending to her
satisfaction. After a
failed attempt at escape,
Krenshaw's captor broke
his ankles with a
sledgehammer to prevent
any future escape until
the new manuscript could
be completed. Krenshaw
was later able to make a
daring escape when his
captor had departed to
purchase scrolls from the
mage shop, leaving the
new manuscript unfinished.
He would then submit the
original copy to his
publisher. When we asked
one of his many fans
about how she felt about
the final book, a
disappointed Lisa Tanner
stated, "If he doesn't
rewrite this thing, I'll
break his legs myself."
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