Yew Times 3
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: Yew Times #3
Author: Yew Town Council
SOCIAL NEWS
TAVERN NIGHT
Tavern night will be held
on 7/11/11 at the Lotus
Dojo and Tea House
located at 35o 26'N.
48o 9'W in Zento.
ADVERTISEMENTS
This week only, this book
is your coupon for 10%
off merchandise at any
of Silverfox's vendors
located in Luna,
Makoto-Jima, and Ter
Mer. Vendors are named
"Silverfox." You can
obtain the discount price
by showing the book to
Silverfox(usually located
at the Luna bank), and
indicating the desired
item. Silverfox additionally
offers free runes to
these vendor locations.
CURRENT NEWS
MURDERER STILL AT
LARGE
Authorities are on the
lookout for a violent
felon by the name of
Moustache Joe who is
wanted on multiple counts
of mass murder, piracy,
arson, kidnapping, and
removing tags from
mattresses. The suspect
is described as stocky,
bald, with a scar on his
cheek, missing the small
finger on his right hand,
dressed in dark green
liveries, and having a very
pretty mouth. Like all
other Britannians, he is
to be considered armed
and dangerous. A reward
of 10,000 gp is being
offered for information
leading to his capture.
FISHERMEN SPOOKED BY
RECENT PHENOMENA
An alarming number of
veteran fishermen and
mariners have become
increasingly concerned
about the recent spate
of unusual incidents and
have convened to compare
notes to determine which
actions need to be taken,
if necessary. Accounts
range from the
disappearances of lobster
traps to the numerous
breached and capsized
vessels littering the
waterways. Experienced
angler, Loy Hargil related
this narrative. "I was in
me dinghy, setting out me
traps early one mornin',
as I have occassion to
do. Had had nine..err, ten
traps set, and after a
time, it got all dead
quiet. No seabirds, nothin'.
Suddenly, the hackles on
the back of me neck
were standin' up. There
was a suddden ebb, and
all me traps were sucked
down all at once. Had
they been secured fast
to the boat, methinks it
twood have taken me
down with it." Ultimately,
no conclusions have been
drawn on what is behind
these bizarre occurrences.
MYSTERY MEAT
BUSINESS BUSTED
Crown food inspectors
shut down operations of
the Boarshire Farms
Slaughterhouse and
Meatpacking in Cove when
it was revealed that the
family owned business
owned no actual farm or
slaughterhouse. Boarshire
sausages, deemed the
favorite sausage of
Britannia's breakfast
table, was specifically
targetted, as inspectors
remained clueless as to
the origin of its
mysterious contents. An
overseeing investigator
stated, "We have no idea
what it is, but is sure
ain't pork." When we
asked local consumer,
Glenard Blardfoot, what
he thought about the
recent and shocking
revelations concerning the
perplexing meat
conundrum, he shrugged
his shoulders and replied,
"I don't care. That sh*t
is tasty."
STRANGE SHIELD
DISCOVERED AT TAVERN
Fogwood Village and
Serpent Cross Tavern
have seen some new and
some older faces return
to it's location this past
week. We were told by
travelers that they were
actively pursuing a trail
of clues left by an
nefarious individual by the
name of Bellatrix Adhara
who is rumored to be
none other than Charlotte
Amandine, sister of Lady
Danica Amandine herself!
MISCELLANEOUS
TODAY'S SAFETY TIP:
Push, don't pull when
tipping cows.
DID YOU KNOW?
Mongbats are neither mongs or bats, but a species that is a cross between monkey and bat; possessing no beneficial attribute of either creature, such as climbing trees or flight.
PUBLIC SERVICE
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Everyday, hundreds of
unprotected unicorns are
brutally killed for a cruel
market that utilizes their
horns for commercial
purposes. With only their
spells to protect
themselves, proud and
noble unicorns are clubbed
to death by thrill seekers
and collectors, while the
rest of Britannia remains
ignorant of this shocking
activity. Won't you listen
to their bleating cries
and do something to end
this needless cruelty?
…In the backrooms of
workshops, carpenters
craft furniture fashioned
from the elegant and
beautiful ivory horn,
rendering pieces that are
both lasting and elegant.
A piece such as this
would be a welcome
addition to any home. Any
prospective buyer upon
seeing such craftsmanship
would be compelled to own
one themselves. Although
pricey, one would expect
to pay a little more for
the quality of such
pieces. And let's not
forget the deplorable use
of unicorn horns for the
creation of magic wands.
Cut from the unicorn's
head, the poor beast dies
shortly after it's horn is
removed. Smuggled into
the hands of artisans,
the horn is crafted into
a light-weight wand that
never fails to deliver the
perfect spell. Casting at
3 levels higher, it is a
must-have item for any
serious spellcaster.
Although difficult to
obtain, we have seen
them regularly restocked
on various vendors in
close proximity to the
Luna moongate. And most
heartbreaking of all, is
the exploitation of
innocent doe-eyed unicorn
foals. Born in captivity,
the foals are raised in
the poorest of living
conditions. Fed a nutrient
deficient diet and caged
in small pens to keep
their young muscles weak,
their tiny horns are
harvested for the most
selfish of purposes. You
would have to be inhuman
not to be moved to
tears by their
mistreatment. And surely
if heartless consumers
were to learn of their
value, they would be
culled to extinction by
the demand for such a
wonderous item. You see,
their tiny horns, lovingly
tipped with fine 14 carat
gold and crafted into a
pendant is hung from a
polished white gold foxtail
chain providing immunity
from the most lethal of
poisons, and granting luck
equivalent to 10 full
imbued gold plate suits of
armor practically
guaranteeing the best loot
drops for any monster
farming enthusiast. Some
are fooled by a market
of cheap imitations, but
only true baby unicorn
horn radiates an aura of
comfort and well-being
and carries the real baby
unicorn horn seal of
approval. Some of the
most disreputable of
authentic baby unicorn
horn dealers have even
gone as far as including
a selection of horns
complete with birthstone
making for that gift for
that special someone. Oh!
and most offer free
gift-wrapping and delivery.
So, let’s band together
in a campaign to stamp
out this terrible practice.
Monitor your P.A.T.E.U.
channel to see how you
too can become involved.
YEW TIME'S NOTES
We here at the Yew
Times are looking to add
stories about current
active guilds. So tell us
what your guild is about
and deliver it to any
Town of Yew member.
Please limit information
to fifteen pages or less.
Try to keep it in
game.
Should you wish to advertise in the Yew Times, you may purchase up to 4 pages of space at 10k per page. advertisements
Publish 2
Edition 3, 6-4-2011