Yew Times 25
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: Yew Times #25
Author: Yew Town Council
[COMMUNITY]
HIDEOUS DIVA SHOCKS
CROWD
By now, everybody is
talking about Sally Boils
and her debut
performance at the New
Years Gala Performance
in Britain this past
evening. The lamps were
dimmed as the silhouetted
figure entered the stage.
The orchestra began to
play, and was soon
enjoined by the voice of
an angel, whose billowy
notes wafted all present
listeners upon a cloud of
ecstasy into the heavens
away from the cares of
the mortal world. Time
seemed to stand still for
those brief moments, until
the lights on stage were
again lit. Shrieks of
terror rose from the
crowd as they beheld the
figure of Sally Boils on
stage. The master of
ceremonies worked quickly
to calm the confused
crowd and assure them
that the angelic voice
that they heard came
from the revolting figure
standing before them, and
requested that Sally
offer a second
performance in full-lit
view. She quietly
requested a glass of
water, which surprisingly
didn't jump out of the
glass before she could
drink it. Then Sally began
to sing the cake song.
The sheer beauty of her
voice contrasted against
her vile appearance was
more of a paradox than
most human brains could
reconcile, and it is
uncertain if many of
those present will recover
to be productive members
of society in the future.
One thing is for certain,
as far as many Britains
are concerned, she had
better not show her ugly
face around here.
[HEALTH]
NEW STUDY SHOWS
PASSIVE BOOK READING
ROTS BRAIN WHILE
ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION
STIMULATES BRAIN
FUNCTION.
Good news for drunkards
today! An independent
group of experimenters at
the Serpent Cross Tavern
subjected themselves to
repeat trials of
intoxication to determine
whether the human brain
improves in performance
when challenged by alcohol,
and they say that it
does. Furthermore, the
self-testers came to the
conclusion that trying to
read stuff like the
tavern menu, only induced
a state of confusion in
the human brain and
should be avoided in
general. The group later
departed the tavern in
high spirits to share
their findings with the
academics in Moonglow,
even if they had to wake
them up in the middle of
the night to share their
discovery.
[CLASSIFIED ADS]
Good Morning Britannia!
We are the Rising Phoenix; a body of like-minded fellow travelers with one sole purpose in mind. We are individuals looking to ignite a spark within every searching man, woman and child in the land; bringing with it a new age where the old fossilized prejudices and ignorance fall away into ashes, giving birth to a rising new paradigm of possibilities and unrestricted growth. Imagine! A new world waiting to be born, built by a people who have long sought to discard the old constructs of a rigid world that neither nourishes nor promotes a future for its people. See, on the horizon, a future of prosperity and hope where all can envision themselves as a integral part of the grand design, projecting into a vast infinity of possibilities. We just need YOU! What we lack is a good starting point. If you have an idea on how we can begin this most worthy and grandiose of tasks, please contact us now. We will also accept funds in lieu of an awesome workable idea that brings assured prosperity and hope to mankind. We will be placing drop boxes throughout most cities. Please feel free to drop in suggestions for the salvation of humanity. Gold or checks all are also welcome. To a brighter future! Love, the Rising Phoenix.
Atlantic Spirit Contest
We would like to
report that Goodman’s
Rune Library, The Blue
Crane Society, The City
of Valorian & SupSoc
Inc. are sponsoring the
First Annual Community
Spirit Contest! The
Prizes will give you roots
in our community! First
Prize is the Max Storage
house & 10 Million gold
coins to help you furnish
it in Luxurious Style.
Books are located at
Goodman's with full
details on the bottom
floor in the present box
or log onto Stratics
libary. Wishing you all
the best of luck and may
the Pixie Dust of
Creativity bless your
entries.
[IN MEMORY]
Lord Kraken
Yew’s own Porter “Lord Kraken” Thompson died January 3, 2011 and was remembered on the one year anniversary of his passing the his official memorial at “The Red & Purple Pixies of the Yew Wood” this past Tuesday. Kraken’s mall, “The Yew Gate Mall of the Red & Purple” still has been held in trust since his retirement shortly before he passed away after a short and brutal fight with leukemia. He is remembered by his long friend Lady Frany Flame, trustee of his mall. Porter is survived by his wife, daughter, and son who loved their father much and have offered many thanks for Porter being remembered in the game world he loved so much. Thanks to EM Bennu, his name will forever be remembered with his memorial.
Happy New Years from
all of us here at Yew
Times Staff!