Yew Times 19

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Title: Yew Times #19

Author: Yew Town Council


PUBLIC INVITED TO JOIN THANKSGIVING CELEBRATION


On Thursday, November 17th, TWT will commemorate the one notable historical event of good will allegedly shared between the white man and native American prior to the big land grab and massacre. All are welcome to participate and dress as either a pilgrim or Indian (or not) and play a round of the traditional riddle/scavenger hunt, which was very popular back in the day, so we hear. Guests will receive grab bags with a special cake, which we request that you do not eat, because you can't have it and eat it too. Guests dressed as Indians will receive free alcohol and blankets from the smallpox hospital.


If you wish to take part, seek out any member of TWT / Yew/ Clan Moor/ Vampiric Order/ League of Martyrs and ask that they get in touch with Southern Devil or simply visit Sinful Candies Vendor Shop to pick up a gift bag complete with lottery "cake" and rune to the event.


POPULACE PREPARES FOR GIANT TURKEY SCOURGE


Emergency drills are being conducted by concerned citizens in antipation of a possible return of the mammoth turkeys which plagued the land for the last two Thanksgiving seasons. Town councils were convened to invite ideas from the public offering possible solutions to minimize damage and casualties. Ideas ranged from luring them to a champ spawn to baiting a boat with corn and pushing them out to sea. Council members listened intently to suggestions, but have not yet decided on a satisfactory plan of action at this point.


MYSTERIOUS FIRE BREAKS OUT IN MINOC


Officials are questioning locals following a fire that erupted from the Atkins mining office, destroying months of critical mining operation records. A senior employee of the organization reported seeing an individual fleeing the scene, wearing baggy clothing and a brightly colored head scarf. Witnesses are requested to come forward with any information regarding this crime, and for their own safety not to take direct action against the suspect.


THE LITERARY KORNER


BACONS OF FATE by Anora Knowles


A bacon did rest in it's glory upon yon shelf.. Thusly a person emerged from the room down the hall and approached the glorious bacon, upon yon shelf, and did yawn heartily as they didst reach for the bacon. At this time, it is unknown what the glorious bacon upon yon shelf didst think about as it faced utter oblivion in the bowels of a random person from a room down the hall; but we can safely assume it was considering it's totality in the universe. Things had come full circle. Perhaps this is the fate all things face. Perhaps it is the fate of all glorious bacons in the realm. Perhaps this is all a dream we cannot wake from until we have tasted the glorious bacon for ourselves. But perhaps we look deep inside and blame fate for the way things have become.


Publish 2 Edition 19, 11-14-2011

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