Yew Times 10
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: Yew Times #10
Author: Yew Town Council
CURRENT NEWS
POULTRY PARADOX
PUZZLES
PROFESSIONALS
Some chicken specialists say that everything on chicken behavior has been already written, but recent developments have illustrated that this likely is not the case. Poultry behaviorists are taking a closer look at a chicken that has spent a good deal of its life living among humans, and determining how much human influence has affected its development. Freyalise or 'Frey' appears very much like any other chicken of her breed, but that's where the most of the similarities end. Frey is seldom seen around her own kind and prefers the company of humans and urban settings. Those who know her say that she readily treats them to meals of cooked birds, which when reflected upon, can seem quite disturbing to humans. It would be the equivalent to treating a houseguest to a fully cooked grandmother. However, in chicken society there is a clearly defined pecking order with an alpha chicken and a descending rank of chickens below, with those on the bottom receiving the scraps. There are those who believe that Frey is removing higher ranking chickens from the pecking order and working her way up, while disposing of the evidence by feeding the losers to her human friends. Under such a system, Frey would receive a greater amount of attention and perks from humans by removing the competition. We have seen how Frey enjoys the comfort of human pillows which she totes along with her. Ordinarily, chickens would settle with a straw nest, but Frey, having experienced human luxuries, seems reluctant to relinquish such creature comforts by losing them to a rival. Behaviorists feel that Frey regularly evaluates her situation and adapts skills from humans to consolidate her position. Already, she proficiently casts the eight circles of magic and remains battle ready by fighting dangerous dungeon creatures. Those who know Frey best, say that the public has little to fear from the plucky hen despite her unorthodox behavior. Frey seems to enjoy an otherwise zen-like existence, quietly watching the waves lap onto the shore from her modest beachside bungalow. They say, "Just don't ask about all the skulls on the second floor..."
I.D.O.C.ERS ASSEMBLE
It was a day like any
other at the Luna bank.
Crowds were milling about
and discussing the day's
affairs when a man
named Mister
Sandwichpress suddenly
appeared in the midst of
the crowd and announced,
"We have an IDOC!" Then
he proceded to open a
gate. The crowd filed
through a portal which
took took us to a
stately but crumbling
castle a short distance
from the Britain swamp.
In short order, the
throng encircled all sides
of the immense structure,
but there was more wall
than people. Mister
Sandwichpress gave the
hue and cry, "We need
more people" as the
crowd confered amongst
themselves. Lady
Badonkadonk stepped
forward from the group
and spoke "Fellow
IDOCers, Since the
Individuals Dealing In
Compassion organization
was created, we have
dedicated ourselves to the
preservation of the homes
and property of our
fellow citizens. If this
stately edifice falls,
surely its contents will
be looted by thieves and
malcontents. Likely this
glorious and ancient
structure will then be
replaced by 4 or 5
smaller eyesores ruining
the landscape. We must
do our best to prevent
that from happening."
Shortly afterwards gates
began to open and a
flood of like-minded
individuals joined the fray.
Mister Sandwichpress
called out, "Now everyone
form the Intertwined
Daisychain of Caring!" and
all joined hands and
encircled the great castle
for hours and sang the
cake song. Many hours
lapsed, and it seemed
that all their efforts
would be for naught, when
suddenly the owner of
the structure arrived and
told them that he had
been informed of what
was happening by a fellow
IDOCer and was able to
pay the taxes on his
home just in the nick of
time. Then there was
great rejoicing, and
high-fiving and patting of
backs, as the owner, Clem
Walrustitty invited the
throng of celebrants to a
free treat of icecream
at the Wayfarer Inn.
MAN WHO CHEATED
DEATH DIES WHILE
CHEATING
Alastair Styles, the man
who cheated certain death
on so many occasions,
violently expired at the
Golden Fang Casino
following a failed attempt
of the "gypsy switch"
during a high stakes game
of chance. The Golden
Fang maintains a strict
policy against cheating on
its premises for the
benefit of its clientelle.
ARCHERY CLUB AIMS TO
ELIMINATE HOMELESS
The Yew Archery Club
announces that it will
soon be holding a
regularly scheduled
contest to raise funds to
help the alleviate the
growing homeless problem.
Event coordinators
suggest that those
interested should start
brushing up on their skills
before the starting date
is set.
I'M NOT JUST THE BEAR
CLUB PRESIDENT, I'M
ALSO A CLIENT
Hi, I'm Thrud Sperling!
If you're concerned about
thinning hair, contact
Bear Club for Men. We
attach your choice of
bear-headwear to your
scalp to give you the
freedom you always
wanted. Your new bear
weave will look and feel
like a part of you. So,
whether you're battling
mobs or just enjoying a
romantic evening out on
the town, you'll feel
confident with your new
bearpiece. We even have
polar bear weaves for
older men for that
mature, natural look. So,
send for a brochure or
write to us to receive
alternatives about your
hair loss.
TAVERN NIGHT
Next week's Tavern Night
on the date of 08/29/11
is named this week *To
the Victor Go the
Spoils*. There will be a
dueling contest hosted by
the Guardians of
Stonegate at the Luna
BagBall Arena in Malas.
We are sure drinks will
be brought to there
aswell. There might be
more drunken brawls in
the stands than in the
actual arena.
Publish 2
Edition 10, 8-21-2011