Use of Titles and Their Forms of Address
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
In the continued spirit of nitpicking, I submit the following as a basic guide on properly using titles of nobility in a RP setting that is based on European (well, mostly English) Medieval times.
Peer
A member of the nobility. The British system has five ranks which in order of highest to lowest are: duke, marques, earl, viscount, and baron. Other countries have other names for the same ranks, such as count instead of viscount.
Knight Sir Bob
Traditionally a mounted man at arms serving a feudal superior. He may or may not hold land. The title can be either hereditary or granted by a feudal lord of sufficient authority.
Dame Dame Susan, My Lady, Milady, Lady Susan, etc.
A dame is a woman who has been knighted.
Lord My Lord, Milord, Lord Bob, My leige, etc.
A Lord is a man in a position of feudal authority, and generally a landholder or from a landholding family. Such men as would be given this title as a form of address include nobles below the rank of duke or the sons of a duke. High religious or government officials, such a bishop or mayor can also have the title of lord.
Lady My Lady, Milady, Lady Susan, etc.
A Lady is a woman in a position of feudal authority. It is the feminine form of the title "Lord" and is used to refer to a noble below the rank of duchess, or the wife of a knight or other member of the peerage. It is also used as a mode of address for the daughter of a duke, marquess or earl.
"Lady" might be applied to a commoner as a verbal address if a person was trying to be particularly polite or, in the case of a suitor, perhaps flattering and flirtatious. But it would not be a proper form of address on a regular basis.
One footnote, which may not actually by true, but is something I have heard in the past, is that if a woman named Susan Smith, for example, is married to a man with the title of "lord", and her father was a peer given the title of "lord" she is addressed as Lady Susan. If her father was NOT a lord and she only married into the nobility, she is called Lady Smith (i.e., by her husband's name).
Duke or Duchess His/Her Grace, Your Grace
The feudal ruler of a duchy, the highest rank of nobility. The non-ruling members of a Royal Family are often given titles of Grand Duke or Grand Duchess. I would think it would also be appropriate to refer to our hypothetical Duke Bob and Duchess Susan as Lord Bob and Lady Susan as substitutes for their full titles.
Prince/Princess His/Her Highness, Your Highness
The son/daughter of a King & Queen. In some countries, this can also be a title of nobility given to a ruler (i.e., the ruler of a Principality or city-state) or just a very high-ranking noble.
King/Queen His/Her Majesty, Your Majesty
The ruling soverign of a kingdom.
People who should NOT be addressed as Lord or Lady include:
Slaves, serfs, peasants, and commoners of all stripes, obviously. This also includes tradesmen, merchants, tavern-owners, money-lenders and all members of the more affluent middle class unless they are either raised to the peerage by their feudal lord or marry into a noble family. However, I would say that a commoner who conquers new territory or founds a village is free to grant themselves a title by right of conquest/founding/etc.
Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert, I am sure I have some things inaccurately or perhaps even outright incorrectly. If this is the case, I am sure one of the serious history professionals/buffs will correct me. Either way, I think this is a resource we need on this forum as I see titles of nobility used haphazardly sometimes, and its one of my pet peeves.
Essentially, anyone who needs a job and has to work for a living doesn't get to be one of the nobility and that is my chief gripe. For example, if a woman works in a tavern or runs an inn, she is not Lady So-and-So unless she marries a peer or is the daugher of a peer.
Emperor Your Majesty, His/Her Majesty would probably be appropriate
Ruler of the country, sometimes in fact, other times in name only as the Shogun ruled in fact.
Shogun Lord/Lady, My Lord/Lady, etc.
Military dictator, in theory ruled by the Emperor, but not always in fact. The adjective for this style of government is "shogunnate"
Daimyo Lord/Lady, My Lord/Lady, etc.
A feudal lord who rules a province and who's feudal superiors are the Shogun and Emporer.
Samurai
A member of the warrior class, roughly equivalent to a knight. There were various ranks of samurai, some holding more land than others or no land at all. Samurai could become members of the shogun's milirary government and thus rise in wealth and status through that route.
Beneath the samurai in status were farmers, merchants, and tradespeople. Samurai who went into any of these types of tasks automatically relinquished their legal status as being of the samurai class. There were also various ranks for all sorts of professions from actors and artisans to geisha.
Lowest of the low were called eta and performed trades dealing with dead things, such as tanning hides, because such tasks were considered spiritually unclean.
About knights - you never address one as "Sir (or Dame) [surname]". It's either Sir Thomas Erpingham or Sir Thomas, not Sir Erpingham.
A few others:
Liege Lord
Not really a specific title or position or even a formal term. Anyone can be a liege lord - it's simply one to whom a vassal has pledged fealty. Like your commanding officer in the army - you don't take orders from a General if you're a Private. "Liege" by itself can refer to both the vassal and the lord.
Baronet
Also styled "Sir" like a knight. In fact, the position is much like knighthood, except that it is hereditary, but not a position of Peerage - a Baronet isn't a Baron.
Hatamoto
A greater samurai lord, directly subordinate to a daimyo. Lesser retainers of a daimyo are called Gokenin.
Bugyo
Equivalent to a minister, mayor or governor - administrators.