The Aaron Chronicles
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: The Aaron Chronicles
Author: DeadBob
OF THE FINDING OF THE RING
As is told in the epic tales, Aaron set out one day with a band of demented dwarves and a discredited Rosicrucian named Goodgulf to separate a dragon from his hoard of short-term municipals and convertible debentures. The quest was successful, and the dragon, a prewar basilisk who smelled like a bus, was taken from behind while he was clipping coupons. And yet, though many pointless and annoying deeds were done, this adventure would concern us a good deal less than it does, if that is possible, except for a bit of petty larceny Aaron did along the way to keep his hand in.
The party was ambushed in the Mealy Mountains by a roving band of narcs, and in hurrying to the aid of the embattled dwarves, Aaron lost his sense of direction and ended up in a cave a considerable distance away.
Finding himself at the mouth of a tunnel which led rather perceptibly down, Aaron suffered a temporary recurrence of an old inner-ear problem and went rushing along it to the rescue, as he thought, of his friends.
After running for some time and finding nothing but more tunnel, he was beginning to feel he had taken a wrong turn somewhere when the passage abruptly ended in a large cavern.
When Aaron's eyes became adjusted to the pale light, he found that the grotto was almost filled by a wide, kidney-shaped lake where a nasty-looking clown named Goddam paddled noisily on an old rubber sea horse. He ate raw fish and occasional side orders to travel from the outside world in the form of lost travelers like Aaron, and he greeted Aaron's unexpected entrance into his underground sauna in much the same way as he would the sudden arrival of a Domino's Pizza delivery. But Goddam preferred the subtle approach in assaulting creatures over a foot high and weighing more than 10 pounds, and consequently he challenged Aaron to a riddle game to gain time. Aaron, who had a sudden attack of amnesia regarding the fact that the dwarves were being made into chutney outside the cave, accepted.
They asked each other questions, such as who played Captain Kirk and what was Krypton. In the end, Aaron won the game.
Stumped at last for a riddle to ask, he cried out, as his hand fell on his snub-nosed .38, "What have I got in my pocket?" This Goddam failed to answer, and growing impatient, he paddled up to Aaron, whining, "Let me see, let me see." Aaron obliged by pulling out the pistol and emptying it in Goddam's direction. The dark spoiled his aim, and he managed only to deflate the rubber float, leaving Goddam to flounder. Goddam, who couldn't swim, reached out his hand to Aaron and begged him to pull him out, and as he did, Aaron noticed an interesting-looking ring on his finger and pulled it off.
He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. "It's a pity I've run out of bullets," he thought, as he went back up the tunnel, pursued by Goddam's cries of rage.
COMING NEXT... Goodgulf, with the aid of one of his secret potions (probably sodium pentothal) manages to drag the truth about the Ring out of Aaron.