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Gorgon

Hold on! Before you say anything, let that sink in.....

Okay, yes, the two most Legendary Men of Ultima Online were seen together... in Moonglow.... Ahem... I just happened to come across these Pictures(Don't ask why, It involved selling my toned Orcish body... sniffle) and thought that I would share them with the denizens of the Atlantic Boards. (Hell, let's get serious here, I should have my own damn Thread <3)

BUT ON WITH THE STORY.!

The evil-doers arrive on the seen, intent on violating anyone in their path... and proclaiming their names!

The uniforms sure look authentic, don't they? I mean, surely this is all of the handsomeness of these two individuals. Don't argue with me or I WILL KILL YOU, AND YES THIS IS A WRITTEN THREAT!

Uh Oh! It seems that Vaen has gotten a little antsy in his pants. Why, if I had a dollar for every time that BASTARD hit on Orc girls, well, I'd have a lot of money. But it seems that tonight he'll just settle for Doireann, the MTC Seductress... Rawr.... I hear that she knows how to wield her weapon, if you know what I mean! Wink wink!

But ho! Things escalate... it seems that our hero.... IS WEARING A "GORGON THE WARBOSS" Costume! As if Audrina could hope to touch the legendary Vaen Swiftar! As all this happens, Talon trots around naked (As usual) Attempting to woo the femmies(And maybe men, I saw that look Fong!!) of Moonglow!

Vaen finally expresses his true love for Doireann, the one femmie who can tame the wiles of his heart, the one femmi who can get that SPECIAL position in the Kama Sutra book that all of those other =L= members just couldn't seem to get right! But ho! Talon seems rather pissed, and in doing so, attacks Vaen! As sudden as it is, a nuclear boom is heard across the land, and Vaen shouts, "Vaen Swiftar powers.... ACTIVATE!" Talon is subsequently shot in the ass with an arrow.

Having subdued the virtuous King's ass with his shaft of supremacy, (Talon, please don't kill me, comrade!) Vaen turns back to his original Goal... wooing that Saucy Lass, Doireann! What's this?! A velvet-lined box! Why... that could only mean....!

As soon as it begins, it's finished. Those heathenistic Glowpugs just DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF LOVE! Vaen is wrenched from his one true love! The heavens quake! Children Cry! Beleth pleasures himself with a cheese grater! Oh, THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!

And so ends our story..... Vaen and Talon leave the land of hate and non-Orc.. ahem... non-Vaen-on-Doireann action. Talon, though his appendages were large and intimidating, failed to attract anyone(Except for that pervert, Fong!). It seems that these two souls shall wander on... where will their next stop be? The Orc Fort? Umbra? Sanctus itself? Only time will tell... Yes, only time will truly tell......
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"Meh Sware Lulty tu da Bludgod"
-Gorgon, 2000

Gorgon · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:39 pm Post subject: AHEM

Disclaimer: Gorgon did not polish this to it's maximum flowery-language extent. If you have a problem, please take it up with my War Fork =P If this is too offensive, by all means remove it, Admins/Mods!

Many Thanks to The two stars of our story, MTCers that were there, Joseph for making sure we didn't die, Fong for the many ideas he gives me, Gur'Nag the Orc(Who hatched the idea of using Talon and Vaen as names) for being my comrade in arms, Doireann for being that sexy lady she is, and everyone else that I/we offended for reading this(as well as my other) posts.

Comment and I'll make more. <3
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"Meh Sware Lulty tu da Bludgod"
-Gorgon, 2000

Cal Hurst · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:40 pm Post subject:

I approve!! Awesome stuff haha. "VAEN SWIFTAR POWERS ACTIVATE"

hahaha
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Orion · Journeyman Joined: 02 Jun 2006 Posts: 230

Lawls Mister Gorgo.
I still lub joo. O.O

Teh Glouris Lrod Kujabis · Transcendent Spammer Joined: 29 Dec 2003 Posts: 5740

Bahaha. Shaft of supremacy. Awesome.

Faith · Lore Keeper Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 942

*holds up a sign that says "10" you certainly got my vote!! Gorgon for presedent!! Very Happy

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:bananhump: Put this in your signature if you think bananas need loving too... even if it is from behind.

Gorgon · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:37 pm Post subject: Hoowah!

*Bows several times consequtively!*

Oh, Thank you, thank you! More episodes are on the way! <3 But I could not do them, and I would not have the motivation if it were not for the support of you all. So, Mojo Dabu! =D Also, if you have some ideas or whatnot, gimme a shout at 129391671 ^^!
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"Meh Sware Lulty tu da Bludgod"
-Gorgon, 2000

Leshok Majere · Certifiable Joined: 05 Jan 2004 Posts: 1790 Location: Ohio

first off, I couldn't tell the difference untill you told me that it was you and not Vaen and Talon! i'm impressed with your skills of impersonation.

you really captured Vaen's bad breath and ignorance! Razz

funny stuff!
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After all these years, I'm still putting up with Kuja and Vaen? whats wrong with me?

"Fri Jan 14 20:07:01 2005 [08:45:38] Kuja: ghaahahahahahha...ha..h.a..... NOTHING TO FREAKING DO IN GAME GAH"

Some things never change even after 4 years...

Cal Hurst · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:53 pm Post subject:

The ignorance, aye, but you need to eat a few more mongbats before you get the breath!
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Isk · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 10:40 pm Post subject:

Comment: The orcs of my youth did a lot of slashing and burning.

Do orcs do serious evil things anymore or do ya’ll just act funny?

Gorgon · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 10:59 pm Post subject: heh

Every player is unique. I like being funny. If you have a problem of that, make an Orc of your own. I will not change who I am as a person to suit anyone's needs.

You want slashing and burning? Give me a REASON to slash and burn. Gorgmogi does plenty of that. Gorgon does not.
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"Meh Sware Lulty tu da Bludgod"
-Gorgon, 2000

NOT Malorn · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:13 pm Post subject:

I'm the slashing and burning orc... But anyway, absolutely hilarious. I nearly fell out of my chair when swiftar sausage was activated.

Cal Hurst · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:33 pm Post subject:

If we wanted to look at every aspect of UO and comment as to why it isn't like it was, we'd be here forever. Gorgon is having fun, and people are having fun. And these are pretty funny. Keep'em going Gorgho.
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Teh Glouris Lrod Kujabis · Transcendent Spammer Joined: 29 Dec 2003 Posts: 5740

Toni McStravick · Seasoned Veteran Joined: 25 Feb 2006 Posts: 467

Gorgo...you are as expected...the sweetheart of the rp community...and anyone who has a problem with someone bringing a bit of fun and lightheartedness to the community needs to step back a bit. Luv ya Gorgo...keep it up.
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Lady Toni McStravick-Skyfire
Knights of Clan McStravick

Davaran: What's the most romantic wood?

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss