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Another Poem.
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Davaran Skyfire
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Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 679
Location: Sanctus, The Kingdom Of
PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:16 am Post subject: Another Poem. Reply with quote
Quote:
Under a tree, pushes by a breeze,
I find myself thinking, under gently rapping leaves.
Beneath a sky with only one occupant,
a lonely white cloud the only heavenly laden peasant,
And so, the oak tree sways, and the mocking bird plays.

A lonely song, neither belonging or owned,
Simply a lend, by virtue of tone.
My thoughts however, are mine to explore,
Thoughts of the one, I truly adore.

A pilfered sonata breaking me from my ponderings,
The mocking bird's thievery grounding my wanderings.
But still, the oak tree sways, and the mocking bird plays.




This was ment to be a shorter almost fleeting thought poem, only 3 rewrites. Also, I'm gearing up to get something published...who do I try to get into? [magazines]

Last edited by Davaran Skyfire on Wed Mar 12, 2008 5:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ceinwyn ab'Arawn
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Joined: 13 Dec 2004
Posts: 5017
PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:29 pm Post subject: Reply with quote
I like it. Very serene.
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Davaran Skyfire
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Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 679
Location: Sanctus, The Kingdom Of
PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:59 am Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
Stinging smoke of parched timber,
Dancing, swirling, from a buried ember.
Jaded green or cobalt blue,
or black as death in retched hue.

Putrid smells of woe and death,
or mournful scent of burning baby's breath,
or on the eve sacred passing,
oak and flesh's essence clashing.

Miles above the hell below,
Above the city streets aglow,
floats the sign of dreadful things,
Like a set of misshapen wings.

Lifting woe into the air,
Dancing for the the gazers despair.
Robbing lungs of precious life,
grayer than the reapers scythe.

Miles away from glowing pain,
away from land black and maimed,
Joyous dancer of fragrant caster ,
Fickle mistress of burning master.






I'm on a writing spree...sorry
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Jonathan Strathmore
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Joined: 14 Sep 2007
Posts: 1986
Location: Inside your mind.
PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:36 pm Post subject: Reply with quote
I thought the second one was absolutely incredible, and I told you what I thought of the first already.

The imagery is astounding and just awe-striking. and the meaning just carries itself directly into my heart. It's amazing. well done.
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Davaran Skyfire
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Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 679
Location: Sanctus, The Kingdom Of
PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:57 pm Post subject: Reply with quote
I need to proof read at dark o'clock at night, thank you for all of your support =>
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