Yew Times 24
From Atlantic Roleplay Wiki
Title: Christmas Times #24
Author: Yew Town Council
TREE SHOWS MEANING OF CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
Skara Brae has been bustling with visitors as of late, who have come to see the "Giving Tree" that seemed to have sprouted up overnight in the town's corral. The looming giant, with its pink boughs and colorful fruit have been quite the topic of conversation.
Pilgrims throughout the land have traveled to look upon its majesty and partake of a gift of a shillelagh which it has been known to present to visitors throughout the day. When we were first told about the tree, by the time our reporters could reach the scene, a massive crowd had already assembled. The tree began to hand out the odd cudgels, which started a frenzy amongst those present. A voice in the crowd cried out, "Stop, it's a trap!" But the cry was soon drowned out by the rambunctious group. Moments later, a boulder-sized fruit fell from the branches onto the protesting individual, likely caused by the jostling of the maddened crowd against the tree's great trunk. The man was promptly carried to the healer for treatment. His condition is unknown at this time. This incident has in no way dissuaded the crowd from returning for the rare gift, nor is it likely in the future.
STILL ON THE LOOSE
Snowy the Frostman is
still on the lose and the
guards are inspecting
every snowman they come
across in Britannia. We
have reports from
citizens that they had
actually spoken to the
snowman! If the
snowman's words are to
be trusted, he came to
life from a magic hat
that the mages created.
The hat was created
from an old tome that
was taken and hidden
when Snowy escaped the
castle. It is believed
that when casting the
resurrection spell using
this particular tome, it
can grant life to an
inanimate object thus the
mages were creating an
army out of the snowmen
to help guard the cities
during the winter months.
Snowy didn't wish to be
participate in guarding, his
interests were playing in
the snow and singing
songs. He fled after
overhearing that the
mages were asked to
rework the Bracelets of
Binding to control the
snowmen. It is rumored
that the Tome is hidden
somewhere within the Ice
Dungeon under the
watchful eyes of cold
beings residing there.
The mages are concerned
that with the tome out
of their control and in
the hands of Snowy, he
might take revenge for
his kind and create
another army of some
sort.
A LEG LAMP?
Nancy Croblink, the wife
of inventor Harvey
Croblink is hoping for a
better Christmas gift
from her tinkering
husband. She recalls the
previous year when he
invented a washing
machine. After a week,
she had gotten so many
bruises from it, she had
to go back to taking
baths. This year she is
just hoping for something
more sensible and less
painful. A Whispering
Rose is all that she
really wants for
Christmas and perhaps
for her husband to spend
more time with her and
fewer hours in the lab.
She doesn't know what he
is making for her but
she has spotted him
sneaking a lamp shade and
a rather shapely hollow
wooden leg into his
basement workshop.
CHRISTMAS CORN
Individuals who specialize
in these matters have
informed us that the
schoolboy who was
mangled in the pumpkin
patch this past Halloween
by an evil entity is
finally at rest. The
spectre of the boy had
been seen by witnesses
haunting the fields in a
piteous and ruined state
until his schoolmates
performed a ritual to end
his torment. The feat
was allegedly accomplished
by taking a personal item,
namely his security
blanket and wrapping it
around the base of a
cornstalk, which would be
decorated before the
critical winter solstice to
appease certain entities
that are into that sort
of thing.
UNEVENTFUL CHRISTMAS
We have it on good
authority that Christmas
is running as scheduled
and there will be no
interventions required to
make it happen this year.
Unbeknownst to many, 3
out of every 5
Christmases would never
have happened without the
endeavors of one or
several unsung heroes who
fixed everything at the
11th hour, even if they
themselves were the ones
who caused the whole
mess in the first place.
So this year there will
be no good intentioned
bumblers inadvertently
throwing a tinker-wrench
into the works by trying
to speed up production at
the North Pole, thus
necessitating a last
minute fix.
There will be no need for a bunch of misfit outsiders with useless and outlandish skills that will suddenly manifest those same skill at some critical point to be essential to the delivery of presents worldwide. There will be no heroes this year embarking on quests to beg boons of higher powers or requesting extensions on delivering their wrath on Christmas upon the stroke of midnight. No heroes will be required to dissuade power magnates deprived of receiving a cherished childhood toy, from razing an orphanage. There will also be no meters overseen by the powers that be, instrumental in the commencement of celebrations, whether it be a thermometer that measures the collective good in the human heart, a meter that indicates belief in Saint Nick, or any other frivolous metric. It is officially declared that this holiday season will be filled with only magical memories, merriment, and mistletoe! Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from all of us at the Yew Times!
SunWolf
Mongo
Corithian
Tabitha
Deadbob
Garreet Granth
Lucian Le'Morte
Anora Knowles