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[Isk]

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Being among the few who experienced many past events in the realm I find it suitable to take up the pen as a historian from time to time and recount various happenings which occurred before the silly age in which we live now. In our time the fresher folk have superseded us more experienced fellows but even these infantile jokers could learn many things from the lessons of the past. There can be no counter to my boasting and the facts written within this work as the only other person in our currently not so glorious community which would have as much insight as me into the matters of history is an elf named Molly who because of her race would make a sad choice in the telling of this particular satire:

There is a certain quality in a purely human union of man and woman which is lacking from relations one takes up with the impure races. This feature is the exclusive dedication to family which only humans can share. One need not look far back into the past to pluck out notable instances when marriage between a human and a member of an inferior race resulted in catastrophic failure. But a keen mind would bring up the fact that in all the destructive instances a respectful human male was suited with an elf blooded bride. It is the purpose of this short trip through history to provide a lesson for Martin Willow, the Regent Nazralte and lord of Nujel’m Rufus Oryan as well as any other human male seduced by elven vipers.

On the forefront of the problem which plagues racially mixed marriages is the fact that elves and most notably elven women, can not keep their wedding vows. A perfect example can be made by looking at Molly who like a smooth stone skipping the waters of Magincia’s beach, jumps from man man until one finally gets the common sense to drown the hag. May we be so blessed that the next says ‘NO!’ at the altar. But what of her children? She has more than one. The simplest answer is that they have been forgotten by the sands of time. A clever historian like myself knows the true cause of their disappearance however, and it can be stated with adequate certainty that these sorrowful creatures being half human half not placed themselves into a state of inactive depression as their mixed heritage has left them with no friends. Imagine the face of such a pitiful child asking “where is mommy?” for which the only answer has ever been “courting her next meal.”

A similar thing can be said of the late and great Shantel Moon who it is rumoured slept with ten men before her wedding day and having missed her time as a swinging madam of the night divorced her husband Talon even though she had children with him. So brutal was the end of their relationship and so sinister her lust that when all her bed partners left with Talon she had a certain holy paladin of the past providing her favours. There are stories of her children as well. It is said that they suffered death during an orc raid but a clever mind could provide proof that those children were offered as payment in exchange for a particularly sweaty night. There is nothing more this elf liked than being tossed around by muscular lovers.
These two women are not the sole substance of my proof for there is also the sand queen of Nujel’m who’s attachment to Rufus proves to be her only redeeming quality. Aside from Sarah being a good judge of character she has proven time and again her detachment with regards to her family. Their child, who’s name history has forgotten, was given away by Sarah so that it’s constant cries for milk would not wake her from her beauty sleep. It is said that because of her constant sleeping the couple has not had relations in bed for over three years. What a lucky man to not be tainted by the touch of a lazy conceited wench! Let us raise the cry for divorce!
What have you learned O readers of this historical satire? My target audience is held captive by these deceitful women! Martin and Rufus divorce your wives and find a human girl more suitable and loyal than an elf. And Nazralte, regent of this land, send your nymph wife down stream. Humanity has many girls of call colors for you.


-Isk