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[Ditto Quantum]

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Ditto sat on the edge of the her stool at the Dark Adder, wringing her hands. Memories of Tarothin coming up Cat's staircase and then bursting through the door way and shouting, kept going through her mind. They, the men of the Dark Order had helped force him back down the steps while the women were yelling for him to leave. Ditto did not understand. She was at this party her lady-friends had given her. It was for her to do as she pleased. How could she let her friends down and tell them that all she really wanted was to spend time with Tarothin? Then he was there. She saw him and her heart fluttered happily and she waved to him saying hello...but then she saw that he was obviously displeased and upset by something, and then..forced to leave? Him? Forced? Something had to be terribly wrong with him for him to allow such a thing. She tried to tell her friends that she wanted Taro to stay, but it was no use. They only tried to
convince her that it was alright. It was just that men were not allowed to attend parties such as this. But..if this were the case, why was the male dancer here? She had turned her attention to the dancer. Stories were told in dances sometimes, perhaps there would be some clue as to what was going on in his dance. Ditto had then asked the man to continue the dance he had only just begun before Tarothin had gotten there moments before. He began his dance over again for her, and she smiled up at him politely, watching for any story there might be in his dance. He removed his cloak, but, thinking the man merely didn't want to trip, she looked on. He removed his doublet, then shirt...perhaps he was overly hot? She mused. When he stood in front of her loosening his belt however, she became slightly concerned. "Umm..he's not gonna..." Before she could finish her words, Ditto was staring at a complete full moon of the man's rear. "oh my!" She gasped. He continued his dance, and she probably would've found it amusing, even entertaining, had she not been still worried for Tarothin, she leaned over to see the doorway in hopes that Tarothin might be there again, but the doorway was empty. At that moment the dancer quickly danced onto her lap. Startled, Ditto began screaming for the man to get off of her, and began shoving him off her lap. The music ceased, and her friends were all staring at her oddly. Remembering that these women were all her friends and that all of this was only for her entertainment, Ditto smiled and tried to be polite. She tried nicely explaining to the man that eventhough he seemed a good dancer, that she did not care for him on her lap. Things lightened a bit but they were all left with nothing to do. Already half drunk, Ditto then drank heavily until finally Cat asked her "Ditto, what would you like to do now?" Tarothin was the only thing she could think of, and so the ladies had decided that they would see what Tarothin was doing at his party.

Upon arriving at Ricky's home, where Tarothin's party was being held, they discovered that Tarothin had already left for the evening. Ditto sighed. But then...she noticed the female dancer. Oh, no...what if that dancer had tried to get in Tarothin's lap? He had such a thing against people being in her lap, she could only imagine how upset he'd be if one got in his! After a few questions to the men, she got only stuttering, drunken answers. Worry for Tarothin, and the men's unwillingness to speak, made her mood extremely dark. Could they not be sober enough to have concern for one of their own? For Tarothin? She turned her attention to the dancer and began again with her questions...the girl seemed to be nervous at first, and then, as the questions went on, she seemed downright afraid of something. This only made things worse. She did not have time to bother with the trifle worries of the girl when she needed to find out how upset Tarothin had gotten. Finally the girl spoke up. And she said that "the groom" had let it be known he was faithful to his bride to be. Well, that was all well and good, but she still needed to know how upset he'd gotten. From what was told to her, Tarothin had seemed calm enough. The girl was wanting to leave quickly and still seemed quite frightened. Ditto smiled to her and thanked her for at last telling her what she asked.
And then she turned her attention to Ricky..the one who had hired the girl. Ditto began arguing with Ricky about upsetting..possibly traumatizing Tarothin with a lap dancer. Ricky was quick to come to his own defense and laughed saying that Tarothin was far from being upset. And began to say something else but seemed to have trouble with his words. Cat, quickly pointed out that Ricky was drunk, and must be wrong, and Tarothin was probably very upset. Watching Ricky having trouble standing steadily, Ditto surmised that Cat was right. Drunk or not, he'd still hear from her quite loudly that he was never to upset Tarothin again.


Ditto's dark and foul mood continued into the night. By the next day, she could barely think straight at all and was on edge. Her worry had caused her not to eat..not eating had caused her temper to be dangerously on edge. Her thoughts were distracted later in the day when she discovered that Inkari had broken up with her good friend, Tatiana, because he was a homosexual.
And then later found out that he'd only been lying about prefering men because he had not wanted Ditto to learn the truth. He had left her friend for another woman. But, because the woman was there in the room, he didn't want her feeling uneasy. Worry for Tarothin, guilt at having convinced Tatiana that Inkari would be good for her, and then finally hurt at being lied to by a trusted friend....made Ditto close to exploding. Trying to hold in her dark, fury only made things worse. Suddenly it was as though she was on the outside looking in ...but this was becoming a more and more familiar feeling as she got further along in the pregnancy. Saying, doing, even feeling things that she ordinarily would not. She became taunting and snide. Out of anger and vindictivness, she went to speak privately with Ricky to arrange for a KOS order to be put on "All floozies" that came into Dark Order territory, beginning with Inkari's newest interest. It was not until Ditto spoke with with Katrina that things began to change. While Inkari and Ricky argued their points as to whether or not Ricky could issue an order such as that, Katrina went to Ditto, had showed kindness and a great concern for her friend that Ditto wanted killed, that somehow, Ditto was able to take better control of herself and what she really felt. She rescinded her KOS request. Many in the tavern, including Mairsil, had seemed quite perplexed by Ditto's behavior. So much so that Ditto began rethinking things. Was all of this negative emotion, this anger, really just the result of pregnancy and being "grumpy" when she was hungry? It had seemed to start that way, but over time, this grumpiness had grown. At times, Ditto had gotten quite evil. When Ditto had come downstairs to find Inkari's new interest bleeding to death from a self inflicted stab wound, Ditto had laughed with pleasure at seeing her suffer.
What was happening? This was completely unlike her.

She wished she had spent more time with Tarothin. He was smarter and could see things much more clearly than she did at times. They had barely been alone together at all over the past few months. Perhaps only three or four times. But that was because he was busy...because he cared more about himself and his image and his ego, the war, the town,....Ack! She was doing it again!! These were not her true feelings! Ofcourse he cared for all those things, and more. He wouldn't be the Tarothin that she loved if he didn't. And he always made it a point to let her know in whatever way he could that he loved her. Ditto calmed down a little, thinking of his reassuring smile. And then..he was not smiling when last she saw him. He was upset, nearly violently so. She had to find him. He was resting, his last note had said. At least he was safe. She sighed, partially relieved. But...he was upset by something.... Ditto had to see him. Had to find out what had been wrong. Was he really that upset over a little thing like a girl in his lap? Perhaps he was just insane that way. It did seem as though everyone around her was insane lately. People stuttering around her, Inkari claiming to like men when he didnt, Ricky trying to torture Tarothin, a strange man's buttocks in her face, and a man called father who thought himself to be a nun and sold children for fifteen gold a month. Things just didn't seem to be normal lately.
Frustrated, angry,worried, and confused made Ditto on edge
and close to exploding any moment in a rage. She had to speak with Tarothin and know that he was alright before she went insane like the others.

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