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Celestia Adventurer

Joined: 29 Dec 2010 Posts: 44 Location: Canada
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 10:51 am Post subject: The Five Stages of Grief: Part Five |
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Acceptance
Yoshi Shimakaze knelt before the altar to her ancestors and lit three sticks of incense. Two days earlier she had placed the urn with her mother’s ashes in a place of honor next to those of her grandfather. She clapped her hands three times and bowed low. She offered a silent prayer of thanks to her mother for giving her life and nourishment and to her grandfather for giving her father such courage and strength and for the return of the swords that now lay before her.
Her father had gone to Zento early that morning to see to the repair of a ship. Himeko had been sent to Stonegate the day before to visit with her mother. Most of the servants were about their duties. She had dismissed the house guards giving them permission to visit their families.
Yoshi had bathed alone. She washed and rinsed her hair then cut it short. She took the cuttings and wrapped them in parchment which she tied with yellow string. The parchment containing her hair now rested on the altar next to her mother’s urn.
After cutting her hair she tied it in a top-knot. She had heard somewhere that the Bane-Chosen often took the scalps of their enemies as trophies. She found that amusing and wondered if her scalp would hang next to her mothers on some hut in the wilds of Ilshenar. With the help of the old woman from the Great Lakes she donned her armor. Afterwards she pressed a pouch of gold coins into the old woman’s hands. The gold would go to the woman’s family after she was gone for the woman vowed to drink poison once Yoshi had ridden off. She could not commit seppuku for she was not of the samurai cast.
Yoshi bowed again to her ancestors and asked that they bless the weapons that lay around her. The weapons she would carry into battle. Her grandfather’s swords, Katana and Wakizashi that would not be passed down to her own children but would instead taste the blood of the enemy in close combat and be held as trophies to be honored in a different fashion and in a different way; but honored still.
Her Yumi. The bow that sang its song of death to countless monsters and creatures of the wilds. Her quiver with its many arrows. War arrows which would now carry death to those who robbed her of someone she loved so dearly.
She had accepted her mother death and in doing so regained her life. And in that life she had come to accept her own death as a way to honor all she had been given. Her debt to her family would be paid in full. Her mother would be avenged and her ancestors honored.
Rising, she gathered her weapons and left the house. She chose the finest war horse in her father’s stables. A young, powerful stallion full of pride. The old woman helped saddle him and attach the standard of House Shimakaze to the back of the saddle. He was eager. His nostrils flared and he bucked his head in anticipation. Yoshi mounted and arranged her weapons according to how she expected the fight to progress. Yumi, strung and carried across her back. The quiver attached to the saddle at her left leg so she could draw arrows quickly while mounted. Her Katana also across her back and her Wakizashi through the loop at her waist. On her right hip her poisoned dagger to kill at close range any who might drag her down. She attached her helm to the saddle. She would don it only after the enemy saw her face. She wanted them to know who it was that brought death to their door.
The stallion bucked and danced. Yoshi spun him once and turned toward the doors. She was almost through when someone grabbed the horse’s bridle. The great stallion bucked his head in an effort to escape. Yoshi spun the horse’s rear in a tight circle facing the man who held her back. Reiketsukan, her father’s second in command, held the horse’s bridle and fought to control him.
“You dog!” Yoshi screamed. “How dare you stop me! Release me now or I shall relieve you of that arm for such insolence.”
Her face was red with rage.
“Release me immediately or I swear…”
Reiketsukan cleared his throat.
"Lady, may I ask why you are in armor? Or shall I simply accompany you on your travels?”
Yoshi’s face twisted in anger. It was obvious that he would not let go of the horse unless she either cut off his arm or told him her reason for leaving. The horse calmed down and stood quietly as Rei stroked his nose. He gave the young woman a sideways grin before looking towards the sun.
“It is a rather fine day for a ride.” He said in his typical cavalier way.
Yoshi blinked at him then looked about the property hoping someone would come to her aide. The old woman was nearby but she was kneeling in the stable doorway with her forehead pressed to the ground.
Rei waited for an answer either in words on in cold steel. But he would not let go until either was clear. Yoshi, in her frustration, dismounted and marched to where the old woman knelt in the dust. She stood over her. Her rage seething within. She could kill this woman and no one would fault her. She heard the jingle of the horse’s reins and the clatter of Rei’s weapons as he followed her with the horse. She turned on him.
“I ride to Trinsic to avenge my mother’s death and to pay my debt to her and to my ancestors by giving my life in noble battle.” She walked a short distance away then turned to face him once more.
“I have no other way to honor my debt to them and to her…no other way.” She said. Her voice cracking.
Rei nodded solemnly as he steadied the horse.
“Yes…yes a noble death indeed.” He agreed. Then he looked hard at her.
“But I wonder mistress; have you learned yet the value of a life spent and a life wasted? And more importantly; the difference?”
Yoshi stared at him. She was not sure she understood his meaning. She kicked the old woman and told her to get up. The old woman did so and Yoshi released her from her pledge. She removed her weapons, unstrung the Yumi and handed them to the old woman telling her to wait inside the stable. The woman did as she was told; glad to be away from the madness of youth.
Yoshi looked sideways at Rei.
“Explain your meaning.” She ordered.
Rei nodded. “Need I tell you mistress, that in death you will be leaving Her Majesty’s service without leave to do so? Does your death buy so much honor as to allow you to neglect one duty for another?
She stared at him and for the first time in weeks her mind cleared. His words carried weight. He took a step toward her, his eyes riveted on hers. His voice rising.
“You will leave more duties behind in this life than you shall ever fulfill in death! Right now! Today! This morning!”
He was scolding her and she could do nothing to stop it. She wasn’t sure she wanted to.
He glanced into the stables then back to her.
“But Mistress, if you are so determined to die and my words cannot stop you; then ride out with you I will. And in battle I will fall beside you,” he drew closer to her, “for I am honor bound to give my life for you, your father and your clan and I would be remiss in my duty in allowing you to ride off to battle without myself or another soldier by your side.”
Then Reiketsukan went down on one knee and bowed his head.
“You are the Lady Shimakaze and I stand ready to serve at your orders be they for life or for death. Command me.”
Yoshi stood in the dry dust of mid-morning outside her father’s stables and stared down at the man in astonishment. She had thought she knew the meaning of ‘duty’ and ‘honor’. But here was this man showing her its true meaning. The selfless act of simply doing what was right for herself, her clan, her Empress and, more importantly, for her mother.
Epilog:
Yoshi watched with a discerning eye as Himeko practiced the ‘Ashibumi’ or proper placing of the feet. The Yumi was almost twice her height and she had struggled with the proper balance for over a week, but she was showing progress; provided her temper did not interfere. Another ten minutes and Himeko threw down the Yumi in a huff.
“This is stupid.” She spat. “It’s not the way I was taught to shoot.”
Kyudo was very different than the normal ‘shooting’ of a bow. There were eight stages of shooting and Ashibumi was only the first. Himeko had yet to even pick up an arrow let alone shoot one and her frustration was evident. Patience and meditation were not words with which she was familiar.
Yoshi showed no emotion as she picked up the discarded Yumi and held it out to the young girl. Himeko looked at the bow and then at Yoshi and frowned.
“I quit. This is stupid.” She announced and stomped off towards the horses.
Yoshi watched the girl walk away for a moment then called after her.
“Coward!”
Himeko stopped short, whirled and marched back toward Yoshi. There was fire in her eyes.
“What did you say to me?”
Yoshi walked away from the girl toward a small stand of O’hii trees. A light breeze rustled the paper-thin leaves. She smiled and knelt down on the thick grass. Himeko marched up and stood over her; glaring down at her.
“I could have you killed for saying such a thing to me. One day I will be Empress and then you’ll see.” She pronounced in perfect Tokunoese.
Yoshi patted the grass next to her. “Please Highness, sit with me a while.” Her voice was gentle.
Himeko was fuming but sat down. Yoshi paused letting the sound of the rustling leaves wash over them. The sunlight scattered like bits of broken glass as it filtered through the trees. Her mother’s words came back to her and she repeated them in the same manner her mother had done when she was Himeko’s age and wanted to quit a difficult task.
“What do we call a warrior who runs from battle when certain victory is assured him?” She asked calmly.
Himeko thought a moment. Her face changed as she made the connection.
“A coward?” She said as she picked a blade of grass and studied it closely.
Yoshi also picked a blade of grass and began tying it tiny knots. A long moment of silence passed before she sighed and began:
“You are facing a great battle. But this battle lies not with an enemy you can see. It is an enemy that screams at you, pushes against you, and drives you to fear the things you do not understand. This enemy is very powerful and very angry and wants only to drive you from the battlefield. But this enemy does not exist out here in this world.” She swept her arm in a wide arc over the field of grass. “This enemy you face lies deep within your own self. Within your heart and mind. It fights to control you and bring you to ruin. And it will win. Of that you can be assured.”
She paused and looked at Himeko. The girl was still studying the blade of grass holding it close to her face. But she was listening and that was all that mattered.
“It will win,” she continued, “and it will drive you from the field of certain victory, but only if you permit it. For you and you alone control the outcome of this battle. You and you alone must stand and fight this vicious and unforgiving enemy. But you have powerful weapons. Weapons this enemy fears more than any sword, spear, or arrow. The weapons you carry are those of friendship and love. The friendship of those who guide you and teach you what you will need to know in order to utterly defeat this enemy. And the love of those who carry you in their hearts and minds each day you walk the earth. Those you have sent you here to us…to me. Those who will stand with you in your time of need. But you must step forward and announce to this enemy that you will not quit the field. That you will not be swept away by fear or anger. That you will stand firm and accept graciously the victory that is within your grasp. If you can do this then others will stand with you against all odds. My own self included.”
She stood and offered her hand to the young girl. “Will you accept this challenge? Will you take up the Yumi and stand against this enemy?”
She stood as her mother had stood after speaking the same words to her not so many years ago. Her hand extended. The light of her eyes shining down on her. She stood there as the bright clouds passed by overhead. She stood there for what seemed a century. She stood there until the young girl reached up…
…and took her hand.
End. |
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