Khaliq sat on the dingy straw bed of his rented inn room. It was not the opulant manor house or the bed of pillows and thick padded mats he had begun to grow accustomed to, but if nothing else, it was more fitting for a man of his station. With Miss Joanna returned, the house had it's protector in the form of her Gargish bodyguard. He was simply a complication.
Perhaps in his heart of hearts, he did love her, but he was a simple jannisary, and she was the daughter of the magnate. She was a princess, royalty of Magincia, and he was but a simple soldier. She was, simply put, out of reach and well beyond his station. He was not worthy of a woman of her level.
It was one thing to act as her guard, another to be a guest in her home. Removing himself from her home would lessen the sting in his heart. She could never know. The kiss had been to tender, too powerful. It would take a long time for the memory of her petal-soft lips against his to fade, the taste of apple on her lips to leave his mind's eye. He closed his eyes and took a long breath through his nose, his mind savoring the scent of cocoa butter and spices that clung to her.
The pain of it burned at his heart and made his eyes well. It would fade in time, but for now his heart was raw. He chided himself as he rolled out his sajjāda on a clean spot of the floor. It was just a dance, and she was simply performing her art. He had read too much into it and he was being a lovesick shild.
She had no feelings for him, and he was a fool to delude himself that she could.
Kneeling and pressing his head to the edge of the prayer mat, the few tears that fell were silenced, covered by the mutterings of his prayers.
O Philosophe, whose tests are a healing medicine to such as are nigh unto thee, Whose sword is the ardent desire of all them that love humanity. Whose decree is the sole hope of them that have recognized the truth of your must pure lineage! I implore thee, by thy untainted blood and by the splendors of the glory of thy line. In thy cause, and enlighten our hearts with the effulgence of thy knowledge, and illumine our hearts with the purity of your humanity.
It is in your path I am tested, forged, tempered and made pure. Grant me guidance, strength and will. I am ever your servant. I am human, and thus created perfect.
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