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[Arcana]

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Arcana sat on the ramparts of Trinsic, staring out over the sea. It was a warm day in early summer, and many ships dotted the bay. A pleasant sea-breeze ruffled her golden hair. After the past days of meetings, she’d been surprised at the outcome. Initially, she’d been fairly certain the Knights would be ousted from the Trinsic Council of Honor, given their recent move and certain factions on the Council. But the cagey old mayor was in need of allies and had worked some minor political miracle to convince the Council that the Knights should retain their seat. But Arcana wasn’t thinking of politics.

The sunlight warmed the amber necklace in her hand and the single stone reflected a honey-colored radiance, revealing remarkable internal depth and faceting for what was once common tree sap. She was not unaware of a certain similarity to the necklace’s owner. If there had been anything Arlin could have done to convince her of his sincerity, the gift of this particular necklace had been it. She only hoped that he had set out upon this path to become his own man, not the one he thought she wanted him to be. Change had to come from within.

From that, her thoughts strayed away from Arlin and toward her own past. Arieus had been all too right when he’d told her to think of herself for once. She’d long prescribed the private aspects of her life by doing what she thought was expected of her. She’d tucked her free spirit away where it had been slowly dying under the weight of duty. Her failed marriage was but a symptom of her true problem. Arieus knew her better than she knew herself sometimes… he always had.

She recalled another meeting between her and Arieus, some weeks ago on the night he'd returned from his unknown journey after reading from the Book of Destiny. He’d stripped away his quiet reserve and laid bare a passionate depth of feeling for her of which she’d never had a suspicion. No… that wasn’t true… when she’d searched her heart, she’d found she’d always known. But there had been Robert, so she’d squelched whatever feelings and awareness she’d had. Her eyes stung even now at the memory of his words as he’d taken her in his strong arms, his voice low and rough with emotion.

“I could see it in your eyes on your wedding day, how you truly felt. I said nothing, but I should have spoken.” His green eyes were filled with an assurance and complete confidence that she’d never before seen in her reserved, almost shy, knight. He cradled her chin with one hand.

“I love you. I have always loved you. Not for your lands, power, or even your great beauty,” he brushed her lips gently with his thumb. “But for you. I’ve ridden at your side through countless battles, seen you at the height of joy and brought low by grief. Through it all, I love you.”

Tears had welled in Arcana’s eyes then, and now they spilled down her cheeks despite her tightly closed eyes. Arieus didn’t want her for a night, or even months. He wanted infinitely more. She’d thought she’d loved Robert when she’d married him, but the years had either changed that or proven it untrue. What if the same should prove true with Arieus? Her heart could not bear it again.

So she’d begged Arieus to stop. Knowing her as he did, he must have understood so much through her eyes and from holding her body – which she could not stop from trembling – close against his. She had sensed Arieus steel himself as he’d slowly stepped away from her and held her at arm’s length.

“Nothing will ever change what I feel for you,” he’d said, with infinite tenderness. He’d given her a look of both love and profound sadness as his face had slipped once again behind its habitual reserve.

Weeks later, after a tumultuous onset of dealings with Arlin, she’d sought Arieus out at his brother’s citadel north of Luna. At the time, she’d thought herself so certain of Arlin’s motivations. Her reply to Arieus’ unanswered question had suddenly seemed so clear. Yet before she could work up her courage, he’d seen right through her, refusing to intrude on her vulnerability. He’d sent her away.

Then Arlin had given her the necklace – and the burden that went with it – and she knew Arieus had been right.

Her tears dry, Arcana stood and regarded the necklace. It was too large for her neck, so she looped it around her waist and tucked it under her clothing. She might never come to terms with her past demons or find happiness of heart, but she would no longer be frozen while trying.