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[Phaidra Lenoir]

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Footsteps. Sigh.

Step, step and pause. Step, step and pause. Double sigh.

Why must they always attempt to be sneaky? Its like so impossible against me. I always imagine some enormous bull in a tutu with slippers tip toeing through a field of mice. Each step a shriek almost deafening in my ears as each pebble and blade of grass scream their path as they attempt their crappy waltz of secrecy. What morons.

Sigh again. Oh well, I'll play the damsel. Head down and unobservant. Slight shiver as if I'm paying more attention to the cold than him. Pause and wait three seconds and then give a look around at the opposite direction as if I'm still wary, but apparently not wary enough.

Step, step and pause. Step, step, step and pause.

Good, he's taken the bait. Pull the shawl over my head to better obstruct my view and begin to walk down a poorly lit alley. That ought stroke his fire and encourage him even more. Come along little boy, let's play.

Step, step, step, step, shuffle, step and pause.

Bingo. About mother fracking time. I have better things to do than this educational nonsense. He's almost there. I find myself mentally coaxing him on as some sweet adoring mother might baby-talk their carpet monkey as it takes its first steps.

Step, step - That's right. Good boy. - step, shuffle, pause - Almost there. You can do it. - step, step, pause, step - Whosa my little man? Yousa my little man.

I pause in my own steps to give him a chance to make his move and he takes the bait as if I had dangled some sweet meat to satisfy his lust.

Classic hand around my throat and a knife tip pressed against my skin. "Don't move or I'll cut your throat."

Eyeroll. Oh by the nine hells, don't any of these mother fracking guys have any creativity? I mean seriously. Do they all get born with some manual jammed up their ass with the script that they must give each time?

"What are you wearing under that pretty little dress of yours?"

I can feel him harden slightly against my rear as he speaks. Anticipation. The glorious human aphrodisiac. Huh. What am I wearing? Damn, I should have taken an inventory before I left on the fishing expedition. I wiggle myself to get a sense of the fabric of my undergarments, the movements only furthering his excitement as he believes I'm gonna put up a fight. That's what he wants after all. Something to conquer.

"Cotton comfy stuff. That's a totally different thing than silk comfy stuff, by the way. Have we met?"

There's a slight pause. "Don't frack with me, I'll take you to your house and I will tear you up."

Mental yawn. Great. He's new at this. He doesn't even have the balls to do it in this dark alley at two hours past midnight. I mean how much more perfect does it get. The guards are sleeping off their midnight brew near the bank and the shops surrounding us have long been deserted as their humans have scampered home to hide by their warm hearths as the cold of night creeps up on them. Well, time for his rude awakening.

"Cool. Do you have a quill and ink? Here's my directions. The sooner we get there, the sooner this will be over. I'm kinda in a hurry tonight ya know, don't want to spend all night with you trying to balance the knife at my throat and figuring out where to put your little man."

I can feel him tense with that response. It wasn't what he was expecting so I continue.

"Wait…first thing, it's embarrassing, but I do have to ask first. Are you a GOOD rapist? I mean, a really GOOD one? How big are you and how long will you last? We should stop and get some liquor on the way there... I have a feeling I'll need to be really drunk to be even remotely impressed. Oh yes, and towels its gonna get REALLY messy."

Dead silence and his body is frozen in disbelief as he continues to listen.

"My orgasms take a very long time and I have yet to find a rapist that really understands me. I've been disappointed before. Do you have a heart condition? Do you like to cuddle? I fracking hate cuddling. When you're done you're just going to have to leave."

I can feel him go limp against my rear. Complete stall. The guy's trying to turn the key and he can't get the motor going. I start to smile.

"No, really. Can I come visit you? Where do you live? I have silk, I promise. It tears easy. You don't seem very committed. Do you have…you know…a problem?"

The tone in his voice changes. "You are one fracked up wench."

"I know."

His grip loosens as he takes a few steps back and glares as I turn around. Sexual frustration and disbelief. I blow a kiss at him and wink once. His eyes widen. Smiling, I open my mouth some as the low moonlight reflects off the surface of my teeth. He drops his knife and it clatters against the cobblestone.

Another wink and there he goes - running down the alley, over - no, wait - damn he almost made it over that garbage can. Scramble, scramble, trip, scramble and slide. I laugh loudly as I watch and begin to follow him as he begins the chase. DEATH TAG! SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! I laugh again and call out as his shoulder hits the brick wall as he zigs when he should have zagged.

"I'm it!! Game rules. No bases. No pleading for your life and try to make this at least somewhat entertaining."

He finally makes it around the corner as I continue my steady walk after him.

"Ollie Ollie Oxen free..."
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