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[Phaidra Lenoir]

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"You been have been smoking some serious rubbish if you think that's fair, " Phaidra snapped.

"What the frack are you talking about? It is completely fair, " Takai said as he gestured to the two large catapults. The catapults stood, their oiled frames glistening in the low moonlight of the deep night. In the wooden cradle of one lay a man gagged and tied and in the other a woman and young boy.

"Totally not fracking fair, "Phaidra said as she glared at him after laying her hand on the framework of the catapult nearest to her which contained the mother and son. "Look ass wipe, your ammo weighs a lot less than mine plus the singular projectile is seriously going to lessen the wind drag and make it go farther, " as she pointed a finger at the man squirming in his bonds closest to Takai. "The mother fracking package I got the craptail of is gonna get air-dragged like hell not to mention both are going to go different distances."

Takai scowled and looked over the captives thoughtfully, "Could tie the woman and boy together to make a single package."

"Yours still weighs less than both combined. Look at that fat wench, she looks like she ate another kid for dinner. Put the boy in your catapult and we'll be even, " Phaidra argued.

The terrified parents looked silently on as the two argued, desperately trying to get out of the thick rope bonds that held them. Each move becoming more and more desperate as the argument continued.

"frack that. Then I'd be at the losing end that child is a butterball ham in clothing like his wench mom." Takai said.. Phaidra grinned at his admission of her weight difference and thus having the losing package already. "Damn it, " he said as he realized his error. "Okay, fine but I'm not taking all the boy's weight. "

"Fine, we'll split him up between the two catapults at say... your 90 to my 10," she offers.

"Hell no, 40 with you taking 60, " Takai countered.

"Hello?? " Phaidra reached over grabbing the woman's huge thigh and shook it harshly so the fat swayed with the motion.

"frack. Fine. I'll take 60 and you take 40."

"Your 75 to my 25, " she says as she folds her arms stubbornly.

"Fine, anything to get you to shut the frack up sis. 75 to 25. Not gonna help much when it all goes flying every which way."

"Nuh uh, dumbass. Tie the pieces to them securely and it'll work, " Phaidra suggests.

"Huh. Good point, alright deal." Takai said as he moved to the catapult and tore the thrashing boy from his mother's side and onto the ground. He then walked to a tree and grabbed one of the hatchets that rested against the trunk. "Head's or tails?"

"Heads." Cirilia said as she stood, casually leaning on her catapult as she watched.

Takai swung the axe down upon the boy. Blood sprayed both parents and the catapults. Both of them were oblivious to the parent's horrified faces as they began to dividing up the child's parts into the appropriate percentages. They squished, shoved and pushed each of the severed parts into the ropes of the boy's mother and father as each nearly choked on their own vomit at the horror of their son's dismembered body pressing against them.

"There, that should do it. That work, your highness? " Takai said as he wiped his bloody hands off on the father's face.

"Yep, should be fair now, " Phaidra said as she took her place near her catapult.

"Whichever goes farthest wins."

"Bet?" Phaidra asked.

"Sure one gold piece to the winner and the loser cleans up the mess, " he said as he took his spot near his own. They each began their preparations for the launch, both completely amused with the contest and no thought at all to the family about to be destroyed at the price of a night's amusement and a single gold coin.