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[Ariel Ashteroth]

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I slammed closed the book before me, and once again paced to the window that overlooked my estate. Nothing could distract me, nothing. As I thought back on that day, a familiar tightness gripped my chest. Yes, I had been naive, a fool, to fall for the charms of a married man. An error I would never make again to be sure. But I could not wholly blame myself either. His words had been sweet and full of temptation, and I had trusted him…had I not? He had been my teacher and my leader, in a position of power over me in more ways than I understood at the time. Perhaps I had even wished for his words to be true. Foolish.

I sought forgiveness from his Lady Wife, but the Lady had none to give. Her heart was hard and bitter, as was her face as I pleaded my case. She sneered at me and sent me away, seemingly believing that it had been I who had teased and tempted, that only I had erred, but not her husband, no not him. The Lady refused to even consider it.

In my misery, I traveled to the shrine of Justice to contemplate the error of my ways and what punishment would be proper, what I might do to right the wrongs I had committed. As I meditated, a swirl of wind caught my hair, and I heard a slight stirring. I opened my eyes to see a stooped man standing before me, hooded and cloaked, leaning on an ornate staff with large emerald at its top.

“You look troubled child? What ails you, if I may ask?”

My emotions spilled forth as I told the old man of my plight. He cocked his head and listened intently. When I finished my tale, I felt a small sense of relief.

“Child…,” the old one said gently, “If your only sin is returning love offered freely, then that is not so great a wrong. We all seek to be loved and love in return. Was adultery committed?”

“No!” I answered, horrified “Never ser! We never so much as touched! Only words….”I trailed off.

“It is true you were wrong, as the man was married. But do not take all the blame onto your own shoulders. This man tempted you, led you astray. I see innocence within you, innocence and contrition. Forgive yourself, and perhaps in time others will see the light within you, see the truth and forgive you as well.”

I took the old man’s words to heart, and sought forgiveness within myself.

“Look deep within child, you will find what you seek…” the old man’s words faded away as he himself faded, leaving nothing but another stirring of air.

I mounted Mariah, and contemplated the old man’s words on my way home. Did I not wonder who he was, you ask? No, I answer you; no questions of him stirred my thoughts. Surely, as he had told me, I would forgive the man who wronged me, and try hard to forgive myself. Surely the others would see and forgive as well.

When I returned, I reined Mariah up to the local pub for an ale. All conversation stopped as I walked through the front doors, and all eyes lit on me.

“Evening, friends,” I greeted.

Only a few replied, and halfheartedly at that. Disturbed and agitated, I spun around, fled through the door, leapt on Mariah and galloped home.

There seemed only one right path, only one thing I could do to repair the damage I’d done. I spoke to my General, and informed him that for the good of my beloved guild, my family, that I would resign my position. The General thanked me for the way I had handled the situation, and I turned in my uniform and saluted him one final time.

Very soon I found out that perhaps I should not have left the guild so quickly. Had someone used my departure to label me guilty? What were these rumors I heard of my being asked to leave the guild? Whispers of rumors ran rampant, and within a day almost all of my former friends, those whom I had thought of as family, shunned me. No greeting would they return, no smiles on their faces. I sent pigeons to some, and none returned my messages.

I found myself gripping the window ledge so hard it left marks on my palms. Then…then my heart had been filled with sorrow and pain. I had felt hurt and betrayed, with no way to defend my honor. Now my sorrow had become a hard knot inside me, and my pain began to turn to anger and spite.

“Live by the virtues do they?” I asked myself…and wondered which virtue they used to justify my downfall.

“Perhaps the virtues are naught but a myth…perhaps there is a better way….”