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[Ditto Quantum]

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Distractions & Decisions:

In and out of consciousness, she lay in Tarothin's bed. People were in the bedchamber. Were they whispering or shouting? She couldn't tell. Poet's voice. Mave's voice. Flashes of memories and hallucinations mixing together while she felt as though she were holding on to a treelimb that was about to break, and would cause her to fall into a pit of blackness. She held tight that branch. A stabbing of pain in her abdomen and Ditto was about to release it, but the branch suddenly held tight her hand, refusing to let go. She glanced up. It was no longer a branch, but Tarothin's out-stretched hand. She was about to tell him that she couldnt' do it anymore. Couldn't hold on. She was too weak. But, as she looked up into his face, there was that smile that seemed to dare her. Dare her to keep holding on. Stubbornly , she began not only holding on, but pulling herself up. She'd show him. She'd pull herself up just to spite that look.
Ditto's eyes fluttered open and she realised she'd been in the bed the whole time. What happened? Not being able to move yet, she looked around to see what she could. Poet, looking so very tired, yet speaking soothingly to her. Mave across from Poet, his hand bleeding and he was trying to keep himself steady.
Hours later, she was sitting up against the pillows and talking with her friends. Getting instructions about her recovery, and discussing what had happened to cause her being here in the first place. After Poet had left, she spoke to Sir Mave. Looking up into a face filled with concern for her it also revealed shame. He spoke of failing to protect her. Of failing Tarothin. Ditto sighed with compassion for him. She tried to convince him, he was not to blame. He had tried to protect her. Had put her own life ahead of his own. There would be no convincing him completely and she knew that he'd get vengance for the act that had been done. It was his way. His honor demanded such. She would have to accept it.


A couple of days had gone by. Lord Tarothin, having been kept more than busy with overseeing the work on the town, and then having to go to the battle encampment to attend to the ongoing war efforts, had not been available for more than small ammounts of time that he used to make sure that the Dark Order itself was doing well. Ditto had been successful in avoiding certain topics and had noted that both Mave and Inkari had been kept busy as well. She doubted Tarothin had even been told what had occurred. Her secret was being kept, but she knew it would only be a matter of time. This last attack on her would be a distraction for Tarothin once he found out. He must not be distracted now of all times. It was war. All his thoughts had to be for that. One mistake, could cost lives, including his own.
Over the past several weeks Ditto had been the target of hostility, threats, and now assassinations. In her mind, it was all to use her as a weapon against the one she loved and adored. How could she stop all this? Her mind had raced with the dilemma the past couple of days. What to do about the assassins? What to do about the threats? How could she protect both the baby and Tarothin? She began thinking too long and too hard on this and came up with what she thought would be the perfect solution. Take herself and the baby out of the equation. She would try to make Tarothin stop caring about her and she would leave him.
With the wheels of her mind turning quickly, she knew that her plan would only work, if he believed the lies. And that was the one kink in the plan. Ditto was good enough at fibbing to others, but when it came to Tarothin, and looking up into his warm abysmal eyes, she was lost to love and truth. How could she leave him with lies when she couldn't lie to him? Pacing up and down thinking didn't seem to help. Speaking with her partner in all crimes, Cat, didnt even help. Especially since Cat spent her time trying to convince Ditto she was wrong in doing this. They left to go to Hanse. Perhaps she could think of a solution over warm wine-milk. As they approached the hostel stepway, she noticed Spawn. Spawn was a symbol of law and she'd had fun playing with him in the past. Then it hit her. If she were to be arrested and put in jail, Tarothin, who followed the powers of Law, would not be able to get close enough to get her to tell the truth. She set about finding out from Spawn and Ryan what it would take to be put in jail.
Later that day: The jail idea had not been successful. After finding out who Ditto was trying to avoid, they no longer wanted her to stay in their jail and tried to get her to leave. And then Sir Richard of the Dark Order, threatening to inform Maximus, and telling her of the destruction in sanctus that would happen if he did so. Ditto finally agreed to leave with Sir Richard to meet with Maximus, who had agreed to help her in her dilemma and finding a secluded, safe area to avoid Tarothin.
Hours later in the middle of the night: A simple, well worded message was all it had taken and Tarothin was standing only inches away from Ditto in her "Hiding" spot. She had been standing, staring out at the water and watching a flower petal slowly drift along the waves when she had felt a slight warm breeze and the Dark Knight's presence. Glancing to her left, her eyes confirmed it. He was there. When his confused, but calm voice asked her "why", Ditto, even then, wanted to ramble out the truth and just fall into his arms. Instead, she steeled herself and began reciting the lies to him... that she had left him and the reason why. She cared more for chickens than him and could not love and be with a man who would eat one. She closed her eyes tightly and braced herself for his anger & his dislike of a woman who would choose chickens above him, the Dark Knight. She braced herself and waited for the explosion of temper. And waited. And then, finally, the explosion.....of laughter. Peeking at him, she saw then that her plan was a complete failure. He wasn't angry at all. Her shoulders sagged and she could only drop her head and stare at her feet. Tarothin stepped towards her and lifted up her chin with his finger to look into her face, his eyes reading hers. She was lost. He would know the truth now. All of it.